MAMA 2017

5/12/17
It's been 5 years since I wrote this particular blog (below). A lot has changed, My once strong mother who was always active, mobile and energetic, now (after what seems a series of mini strokes) much to her displeasure must use a walker and be looked after.  My father, 7 years her senior likewise has become much less mobile. My sister Maggie (along with my brother Ralph) have taken the lead in their care with the rest of us pitching in as needed and able. There has been no arguments, no hard feeling, no "I did this, you need to do that" with our parents. Mom cared for us equally, how can we do anything less.

It's difficult to see your momma age and become dependent. She still tries to be a mother and continues to tell us to eat, put on a coat and other things all moms do. But the truth is, it is time for to let others look after her. 

It is also difficult for her. Unable to serve her children and grandchildren is a spear through her heart, which brings me to my point. Moms, real moms live for their loved ones. It give mothers no greater joy than to serve those they love. Sure it's nice to be pampered, but a mothers heart beats for her children, when that is curtailed through distance or illness, it beats a little less. 

If you mothers heart has recently begun to beat a little slower or has stopped all together, I urge you to take some time these next few days and bask in the memory of that once vibrant heart and give God thanks that it once beat enthusiastically for you!

2012
As mother day approaches, I thought I would say a few things about moms. Years ago for many of us, our moms stayed home and watched and waited hand over foot on their brood. Summers meant breakfast, cartoons, snack, play, lunch, play, snack, ride bikes, dinner and TV. Through it all mom was there to cater to all our desires.  But this is not about working or career moms or the virtues of stay at home moms. It’s just about moms and why they do what they do.  It is about why we went to mom when we scraped our knee instead of dad. Why restaurants are packed on mother’s day yet on father’s day we opt for hotdogs.

My daughter Esther is extremely creative. She writes (read her blog here - http://esthermarquis.blogspot.com/), she sews, she crafts, she’s an amateur photographer and in six months she will be an honest to goodness professional pastry chef.  Yet with all the things she does, nothing tugs at her heart more than children. One day she hopes to be a mom. (And that husband, better be right, cause there is no better catch).  As I write this blog she is looking to be an Au Pair for the summer - hopefully somewhere in Europe, all this to satisfy her desire to nurture and travel.  Why?

Growing up, I knew of not a single guy, who said to me,” I just want to be a dad.” Yet girls dream of it from a very young age. They hold dolls as boys blow things up. They push strollers as boys push each other. As we grow, our mothers continue to “mother” us. Hungry? Visit mom. Need encouragement? Visit mom. Want advice? Visit mom. Want someone to tell you, I told you so? Visit DAD!  I try to call my mom a couple of times a week. Sometimes my dad answers the phone; he says a few words and then says, “Here’s your mother.”  You see everyone knows that mom will always have some time for her kids, she will ask the right questions, will always encourage, and fight like a bear for you.

So it’s really quite simple, moms love is demonstrated by action which most of us witness day in and day out. They told us, that they loved us, but most importantly they showed us that they did.  Now not to discount dads, but for the most part, dads show their love by providing for us. Unfortunately, that provision often times channels itself through mom. So unless dad makes a conscious effort with his children, it’s easy for him to stay in the background, hence the hotdogs. (More on this in my upcoming father’s day blog).

Remember mom this weekend, someday she won’t be around and all you’ll have is your memories of her.

Be blessed

Developing Thankfulness

It’s been a few months since I’ve written anything.  I’ve been really wanting to, but God has just not placed anything in my heart that I felt I wanted to communicate.

The last few days, as I’ve been reading what people are thankful for, it has caused me to reflect on thanksgiving. Obviously it is reasonable to think of thankfulness during the thanksgiving season. But this year I felt an urge to put some thoughts in writing.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but it has not always been so. As a child of immigrant parents, and one living in East L.A. in the 60’s and early 70’s, often it was hard to be thankful. Sure, it was wonderful to not go to school for a few days, nice to not be harassed by punks and gangbangers, but other than playing football with a few friends who pretty much lived just like I did, it was just another holiday which we ate something truly “American”.  Beyond that, Thanksgiving was nothing more than a day you could buy a turkey for next to nothing and eat that instead of enchiladas or in my case with enchiladas. The truth was, although I appreciated the holiday, it was not something that meant anything special to me. You ate and you had a day off. To be honest, other than the fact that it was a four-day weekend I really didn’t care for it, I actually found it somewhat depressing.

As a typical 11 or 12 year old, I would be outside; playing with my friends then around 3 o’clock my mother would call and say, “come and eat”.  I’d go inside, sit down, eat; sometimes my dad would be there sometimes he’d be outside or down the street. 15 minutes I’d finish and go back outside to what I was doing. That was the “Thanksgiving” I remember until the age of 18 or so. I don’t blame my parents at all, they sort of “learned” from what we, as “Americans’” told them Thanksgiving was. So they tried to “Americanize” us in a Mexican sort of way.

When Barbara and I were married in 1985, we did what most young married couples do on their first Thanksgiving. We went to her parents’ house and ate and maybe watch some TV, then we went to my parents’ house and we ate, we sat and maybe watch some TV. As Barbara and I left we both felt a need to change the way we acknowledged our thankfulness for all we had and at the same time develop a tradition for our yet unborn children. We wanted, that they would always think of Thanksgiving as a day set aside to give thanks, to the God of all good things, to enjoy family and build memories that would sustain them in a future that has constantly becomes more and more secular.

That year we changed things. We began our own little tradition. A simple dinner with whoever would come to our cramped house with dining in a garage with our 2-month-old son. Yet we were thankful.

Today almost 27 years later, Thanksgiving has become, for me, truly a time of reflection. It has transitioned to a day of family, friends, food and conversation. A time to enjoy my children and their friends, to see my nephews and nieces at their best and their parents enjoying the company of those who matter most to them. An occasion where my family makes new memories and recalls those from years gone by. It is also a day where both our parents are able to rest and know that their seed has had all their needs met by the God of all creation.

I love Thanksgiving, because I have a lot to be thankful for.

Click here and enjoy a video from a Thanksgiving past

Choosing to Hate

As a child in the 60’s, growing up during the “Cold War” I was taught to duck under my school desk in preparation for an atomic bomb whose launch by the Russians was imminent. I hated the Russians, never mind that I didn’t know a single one, but I knew one thing, they wanted us dead and if we were lucky enough to survive we were to be their slaves. I truly believed this and I wanted them dead before they could kill me.

We all have preconceived notions and prejudices that affect our everyday life. Some we learn from others, some we develop on our own through our daily experiences, still others are imbedded in our culture. As children we are often taught to fear or distrust things and people that are unfamiliar to ourselves. There’s a sense of discomfort we develop towards those “different” than us that is not necessarily there at our birth. If we as parents do not teach our children otherwise, they will “learn” what is not only wrong, but sinful.

Many people have heard the term, “good Samaritan,” but what is a Samaritan?

Samaritans are an ethnic group, part Jew and part gentile (non-Jew) a half-breed; because of this the Jews hated them.  While traveling near Samaria, Jews would usually travel a longer distance just to avoid Samaria. They neither spoke to nor had any dealings with Samaritans.

In John 4:3-42, Jesus stops in Samaria and has an exchange with a woman while sitting by a well while His disciples did some shopping.  The mere fact that Christ traveled through Samaria was “bad enough” but to actually stop and talk to a Samaritan woman, was, in the eyes of his Jewish disciples – profane.

Christ shows His love toward others, regardless of their God given or “self-imposed condition.” Shouldn’t we do the same? This woman had no say, what-so-ever to her being born a Samaritan, Yet Jesus, showed her love. She did have a say in the fact that she had had 5 husbands and was now living with a man who was not her husband, yet, Jesus showed her love. Would that be your response or mine? Or are we more like that of His disciples, who upon seeing Him talking to her thought, “What do you want?” Never mind that she too was created in God’s image, never mind that their Master, had decided that she too had worth, never mind that they too deserved the same wrath from God that she did, but because of Christ they along with her now had hope.

Like the disciples it is easier for us to befriend those similar to ourselves, and in doing so show compassion and kindness towards them.  The disciples had no trouble associating with Judas; after all he was a fellow Jew. He was one of them, he was not the enemy – he was not – a Samaritan. But God does not call us to love Asians if you’re Asian, or Blacks if you’re Black, or homeless if you’re homeless or even homosexuals of you’re homosexual. No He was very clear, love your neighbor as yourself. He was then asked “who is my neighbor?” It is here that he tells the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). Now remember, Jews and Samaritans share no love for one another.

So what now? Well first of all, I am sharing this primarily with those of us who claim to follow Christ. Many make that claim, but quite frankly the evidence is lacking even among evangelicals. I’m not talking about the occasional slip we all make, which is just evidence of the fact that we need Christ in the first place. I’m talking about those who dislike “Samaritans” for no other reason than they are different, whether by race, lifestyle, circumstances or status. Christ was compassionate with the woman in spite of the fact that she was committing adultery. He didn’t excuse the sin and confronted her about it, but not before recognizing her value as a child of God.

Because of this she was receptive of His remarks. Because of this, she went and brought others to meet Jesus. Because of this, many were saying, “. . . we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world.” (John4:42)

Who are the Samaritans in your life? Who are those you’d rather not deal with? Find them and love them, and in doing so they too may one day believe.

I’ll close with a quote from my friend and pastor Jeff Wheeler:

“Don’t tell me you’re a Christian unless your nature has been radically converted by Christ, don’t name the name of Christ if there hasn’t been radical transformation in your life. How can we say that we have the spirit of Christ working in us and our lives are no different than the worlds?"

"If you’re a believer you’ve been changed, by the power of Jesus Christ. So why are we living as though we haven’t been, if Christ is in you, your marriage ought to be different than the world, because of the power that is working in you.  Men you should be different husbands because of Christ. You should speak to your wife differently than the world does; you should love her in a different way than the world does. Parents your kids should be the most loved blessed kids on the planet because Christ is in you.”

I agree with Jeff, I want to live that way.

Day 16, Mile 3068, Camp Redcloud

Main lodge Redcloud Family Camp

Well I sort of stop blogging because fun got in the way and limited Internet, but none the less I thought I'd catch everyone up.

We left the bay area on the 3rd of July and headed to Merlin, Oregon, just north of Grants Pass. We spent a couple of days with our friends Larry an Mary Jane who live right on the Rogue river. Had a great time celebrating the 4th with them and enjoying some great steaks.

Kathy's "backyard"

The next day we were off to Seattle, where we spent 3 days doing all the touristy stuff, like Pikes Market and eating things we shouldn't. From there we headed east to Leavenworth an old Belgium town with lots of shops and sauerkraut then to Wenatchee where we spent a couple of days visiting Barbaras friend Kathy on her 46 acre "Burlingame Ranch" complete with chickens, horses, goats, barns and lots of cherries, which I thoroughly enjoyed. We bid her farewell and headed southeast toward Colorado via Idaho and Utah, spending the night outside Salt Lake City.

This brings us to Wednesday July 11th, we drove into Montrose, Colorado were we stopped to visit my cousin Jorge and were also able to spend a few hours with my aunt.

Later that afternoon we topped of our vacation by driving south to the remotest county in the lower 48. This is where Camp Redcloud is located and what a camp. This is a Christian Adventure Camp were our daughter Coryn is working and spending her summer. It is a beautiful camp nestled beneath Red Mountain near Lake City, a historic mining town.

Long drives but beautiful

We arrived at about 8:00 in the evening after driving through some roads with spectacular views. Now this is not your little mountain camp with cabins for boys and girls, although they are there about 1/2 a mile to the west. We stayed at family camp which is housed in a huge 12 bedroom lodge, which is amazing with restaurant quality dining and hotel like accommodations. This is where Coryn works. Since we were guest of Coryn we were able to just hang out as families participated in the likes of horseback riding, high ropes, mountain repelling, overnight backpacking, fishing, etc. We could participate as room allowed but decided to just take in the beauty of this place. Yet as nice as this place is what makes it truly special is their ministry. Not only do they share the love of Christ with all who enter, they share it with each other and because of this my Coryn is not only blessed, but is able to bless those she works for and with.

Coryn's Co-labors in Christ

Coryn working

As Barbara and I finish up our road trip, my heart is so content from all the adventure and friends we saw and new ones we made, yet God in His great loving kindness saved the best for last - to see my daughter serving others with a smile in her face and love in her heart. What else can any father hope for.

Proud of my sweetie!

We will be here for 2 more nights then head to Santa Fe, New Mexico and Albuquerque, before heading back to Southern Cal. What a blast it's been. Thank you Lord!

Thoughts on Fatherhood

This is a extension of sorts from my last blog - As Father's Day Approaches

With Fathers Day upon us, I thought I’d recognize and give kudos to those fathers who’ve done things well. It’s a rare breed, who can raise a child in today world which will walk a path that gives honor to God and respect man. The truth is we cannot really know how well a job we have done until the grandchildren are raised. It is more than just raising our children to be responsible,well-mannered and reverent adults it is teaching them to raise their own children - your grandchildren into adults which show evidence of these traits themselves throughout their lives. That is the true test of our competence. 

When I look back at my attempt at fatherhood, I am often disappointed with many things at which I failed. Grant it some were just lack of understanding and insight(those I can live with) but others were just my own selfish priorities deciding what was important to my children’s development without listening or “reading”their hearts close enough to understand what they truly needed.  One needs to spend time in God’s word to learn what God has determined is best for our children. I cannot overemphasize this,study the book of proverbs - please.  God is their creator therefore He is completely and without question an expert in regard to their every need. Praise God, that he allows us to learn from our failures and if caught early enough those can be turned into extraordinary triumphs.

Too many fathers biggest priority is to see their children “happy.” Over the years I was often asked over a variety of circumstances regarding my kids, “How didit go, did your kids have a fun”, or “are they happy?” As a father my job has never been to make sure that my children were “happy.” Grant it, I loved for them to experience joy and to have fun, but Barbara and I have tried to do our best to raise them in a way that allows them to trust God and respect others solely on the fact that they (others) are created in the image of God regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in, and quite frankly some of those circumstances will not always be pleasant. This was not an easy task.I not surprisingly, I struggled and continue to do so more often than I care to admit. 

In my life there were the times when my temper was much too short, my listening too dull and my mouth too quick. Add to this a lack of patience to the already short time we fathers have with our children, and you can see how these weaknesses can quickly affect the outcome of our future father-son/father-daughter relationship. We did have fun and my children do have very many good memories and for that I am grateful, but I am more proud of who they have become, in spite of the fact they didn’t always enjoy “getting there.”

  

Someone once told me it’s not the amount of time you spend with your children, but the quality. I am here to say, that is a lie, a big lie. Children need both quality AND quantity. As a matter of fact quantity is more important than quality especially when they are really young. Better in my opinion to spend a full afternoon hanging out with your child doing nothing in particular but talking to them and being their “buddy” than to spend ½ hour late in the evening reading them a bedtime story. That is not to disregard the importance of the latter but to emphasize the value of the former.  In Duet. 11:18-20 God tells us to teach our children as we walk with them, when they lie down and when they get up. In my early parenting life there was too much time spent, working on my house, working overtime, trying to do the urgent, while often postponing or ignoring the important. Praise God my eyes were open early enough to realize that many things can wait, while my children can’t.

They will never forget the many, many road trips we took, purposely without DVD’s to“entertain them.” The trip itself WAS the entertainment. Instead we laughed,they played, we talked and we remember. On your outings don’t accept boredom, leave the Nintendo’s at home, remove the headphones from their ears and converse.Listen twice as much as you talk, read to them on the way, they’ll talk about these trips for the rest of their lives as wonderful memories.  Don’t be 5 individuals taking a trip, be a family taking one, experiencing the same thing as a family. And fathers don’t rush, we fathers always want to rush, half the fun is getting there, take your time, stop, rest, buy ice cream, lots and lots of ice cream.

My intent was not to preach, but to share what God has taught me through good fathers before me. Yet I realize as I said earlier, I will not know how successful I was until my grandchildren are speaking words that edify me or cause me shame, that make me proud or cause me grief.  With that I salute those fathers out there who can say in their heart “I’ve made every effort.”

To all of you who have been an example to me. I thank you. Thank you for teaching me to raise children who fear God and acknowledge His holiness. Thank you for telling me to tell my children that I love them – to their face & for teaching them to respond likewise. Thank you for reminding me to hug my children,whether they like it or not.  Thank you for teaching me that a father is not one who became one through the birth of a child, but by the proper raising of that child.

I would like to encourage some fathers who may feel they’ve fallen short, (as I have many, many times) by sharing some of what I’ve learned.

Young fathers, embrace your children, not just physically (although, yes that too) but emotionally. Refrain from telling your son to “man up” instead show him how to be a man. How to love their mother, how to properly show affection, How to treat a lady. How to speak without vulgarity. Teach him that lying is wrong, but do it by example. Teach him to stand for older people, to open doors for them, to show honor to all. Tell him that you want him to be wise and that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Prov 9:10 I know that some of us may need a refresher course ourselves,therefore take one, sort of speak, by making yourself accountable to someone.We as parents, particularly as fathers are responsible for this next generation. Your children, particularly you son’s are your personal responsibility. 

To middle age fathers,acknowledge your shortcomings. Swallow your pride and ask your children for forgiveness as needed. Some of you may say – “I can never do that” That’s fine,then live with the consequences. To all who willing to, you will find your children for the most part will be more than willing to let you into their lives,- although somewhat slowly. But the relationship will begin to heal and strengthen.You will find acceptance where you now find withdrawal. You will find communication where you now find silence, and smiles where you now find stares.

To older fathers, since I am not there yet, all I can only recommend from my reading and observations. Love unconditionally and tell them, realize your time is limited, spend it wisely, love unconditionally and tell them, don’t let old unimportant past mistakes ruin the most precious gift God gave you and love unconditionally and tell them. Reach out while they are reachable. Hug them, while you’re huggable.

Enjoy your Father’s Day!

As Fathers Day Approaches

Last month my 23 year old son and I took a quick road trip. We were headed to the Grand Canyon, but never made it past Hoover dam. That’s ok, as my goal was just to spend some time with him and it didn’t matter where we went. We did stay away from Las Vegas though (except for a visit to a vintage guitar shop) as that would have defeated my goal and made our trip a visit to deception.

It was important for me to just spend time with him. This is becoming more and more difficult to do as most parents of young adult children I’m sure are aware.  What happen, when did we stop spending time together, not just him and I but when did families get so busy that they needed a calendar? It’s easy when they’re young, they were always home, they wait for us. But is it that they get busy and stop spending time with us or that they just realize that we don’t really have time for them?

I could go on about women’s liberation and feminism, and the assault on the family that it has brought, but many women would most likely be offended, and I would be labeled a male chauvinistic pig even though I believe that women have taken on a role reserved for men because men have failed. So I will focus on the men and male irresponsibility and male liberation.

Scripture tells us the man is the head of the household, the leader, the one responsible for the success (or failure) of his household and his marriage. Regardless of what your wife or children do, God holds the man responsible. Now this is not to undermine or by any means diminish the role that a woman plays in a home, as it is quite significant, I do not mean bring them down a notch, as much as I believe men just need to step up a notch.

Unfortunately many homes are run by women; they make the majority of the decisions concerning family matters, business matters, children matters, etc. Why? Because men don’t step up. Men have created a world outside the home. At the very cost of the family and often everyone involved.

Where are the strong husbands, the leaders, the fathers? They have developed their own agendas, their own goals; they follow their own desires strongly active in their world of business, while ignoring the home.  They work hard, making decisions, pursing deals, making money, while in the home, they are often passive, indifferent and negligent, leaving much to the wife they claim to support. How can we build a nation of strong leaders when the very backbone of that nation – the family, has been left without the very leader it one day hopes to emulate?

In his book “Where’s Dad? Weldon Hardenbrook wrote:

I humbly but firmly submit that the soul of our nation is in crisis in large part because American men have — from ignorance and for various and sometimes even subconscious reasons — abandoned their God-given role of fatherhood. They have discarded the notion of being responsible for the physical and spiritual well-being of those around them.

A series of historical events, beginning at the Industrial Revolution, traversing the search for American independence and the Second Great Awakening, and culminating in Victorianism, has had the net result of disestablishing American men from a true role of fatherhood and moral leadership in our land. The American male, at one time the ever present guide of the close-knit colonial family, left his family for the factory and the materialistic lure that the Industrial Revolution brought. The most numerous and most active members of the church, the men — who commonly debated theology in the colonial marketplace — were, in time, to be found arguing business practices in the tavern. The fathers who labored hard to instill the value of cooperation in their offspring, in time gave their children the example of unlimited individual competition. Men who once taught their children respect and obedience toward godly authority came to act as though independence were a national virtue. Men who once had an active hand in the education of their sons relegated this responsibility to a public school system dominated by female teachers and feminine learning patterns. Once the leaders of social progress, American men came to look on social reform and mercy movements as women’s work and, in time, became themselves the objects of that social reform, in the case of movements such as the Women’s Christian Temperance Union.

Over the course of 150 years, from the mid-eighteenth century to the end of the nineteenth century, American men walked out on their God-given responsibility for moral and spiritual leadership in the homes, schools, and Sunday schools of the nation. As sociologist Lawrence Fuchs notes, “The groundwork for the 20th-century fatherless home was set. By the end of the 19th century for the first time it was socially and morally acceptable for men not to be involved with their families.”

All that I have mentioned above, I too am guilty of. Often times I find myself coming home from work  at which time I consider it the end of my day, while my wife comes home only to continue in her toil until long after I am asleep. 1Pet. 3:7 tells us to live with our wives, to grant them honor, we should understand them, consider her needs and desires. This is often the opposite of what we as men do. We look for our own needs, our own desires; we look out for number 1 which we falsely believe is us. This we teach to our sons and so the cycle continues.

Now What?

We as fathers need to understand that our family does not need for us to pursue “The American Dream” at all cost. Because that cost is just too high. We need to just be dad and let mom be mom. We need to take a step back and determine what is important; I think we’ll find that has very little to do with wealth, business, or desires and more to do with the little kids clamoring for your attention.

Come back this weekend, as I salute those fathers who have done things well and been an example to me. Let’s learn from them so we may teach those that follow us.

Change

I’ve been struggling to write these last couple of weeks. I’ve started a couple of post but did not feel let to publish them, at least not now. My mind has been pre occupied with my girls who are gone for the summer. Not that it’s a bad thing, just different. I’m use to summer afternoons with them, to coming home and they being there, to planning our summer vacation with their input.  That’s not happening this year, so it’s just different.

I’ve actually always been one to embrace change, believing that life is not static so why should we covet that. Unfortunately change brings fear in many peoples’ lives, and who wants that. But God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. 2Tim 1:7  Also many of us do not like change because it disrupts and affects our lives. We believe or incorrectly assume that we know what is best in regards to the future. In Matt 16:21-23 Peter rebuked Jesus, when Jesus told him what was about to happen.

When my kids started driving there was a constant concern which I’m sure many of you parents can surely relate. That is to be expected, but at some point I needed to give that up. I believe it was my feeble attempt to hold on to some sort of control. But the reality is we have no such control, and the sooner we realize that the better.

So next time someone cuts you off, or says something stupid to you, react as God would have you and relish the peace that comes with it.  Believe me, this is extremely difficult, I struggle with this quite a bit, but when successful, it’s quite calming.

Yep, Just Like That

Many parents are very protective of their children, no matter the age. They have a difficult time letting them grow up. I’m one of those parents often to my children’s annoyance. But God is teaching me.

Last week, Coryn who had been looking for a job, said to me “Dad, I found a summer job in Colorado, it’s at a camp” Cool I thought, nothing more, as the last thing I was thinking was “yeah, I’m going to send you to Colorado all summer by yourself, to a camp where I have little or no contact.”  Around the same time, my other daughter Esther says, “hey dad, I signed up on an Au Pair website.” “what is that” I asked,  “its brings together people to care for their children in their private home in exchange for a small stipend and room and board so I can travel this summer. I’m looking at Europe.”  Sure I thought, “Like I’m going to send you to Europe to some stranger’s home for the summer.”

So yesterday, I am on Expedia, buying two tickets, one to Colorado & another to Spain. Coryn leaves Saturday and Esther leaves Tuesday. How do things like this happen? Am I not in control? Did I get talked into this? Well of course not. As many of you who have read some of my blogs know, I really believe God is in control of all aspects of our lives, (although my faith does get tested quite a bit and often I fail miserably ). I did say “all”, to the tiniest detail. Just how much? Let me share an example of how He works.

I have family in Colorado, we visited briefly in 1996, Coryn was 4. What could she remember now that she is 19? I’m not sure but for years, she has been saying, “I want to go to Colorado.” When I get older, I’m going to live in Colorado.”  For the past few weeks, she has been looking for a job, without much success. So out of the blue she finds this position at camp Redcloud, a Christian adventure camp. She fills out an application, just for the heck of it, with no real expectations and gets a call. Well to make a long story short, she is offered a position of host, which is to work with families who arrive weekly at the camp for a week of hiking, horseback riding, rafting and other adventures. All this and worship time along with great Christian speakers for the next 12 weeks. Then to just make it easier on poor ole dad, it’s a camp that is about 90 minutes from family, which not only gives me peace of mind, but my cousin Jorge who has spent time at this camp has offered to pick her up a couple of times for weekend visits at his home. So God says to me – “send her” it’s what I want. So off she goes.

Now Esther, that’s a tougher one, at least for me but not for God. How could I encourage my daughter who want to go across an ocean, to live God knows where with God knows who all summer?  Well, those of you who know Esther, you know one thing. She has great faith and much confidence in God’s leading. She loves to travel and by the young age of 21, God has taken her to Samoa, England, France, Italy, & Spain. Barbara and I both had a hard time just getting out of East L.A. But we serve a very big God and Esther has much faith in Him. So anyways, not only does she find what seems like a great opportunity, but of all the places she could go, the one that becomes available is in Valencia, Spain, where she just happened to be last summer and built a small network of friends with whom she has maintained contact.  They are eagerly expecting her and are even planning on having her stay an extra week just to spend time with her. So God says to me – “send her” it’s what I want. So off she goes.

I am excited for them, and am thankful that God has granted them these opportunities. I know that as long as they continue to follow Him, He will continue to direct their paths. I just need to learn to get out of His way. I need to let God be God and step aside, if that is what He wants.

Mama

As mother day approaches, I thought I would say a few things about moms. Years ago for many of us, our moms stayed home and watched and waited hand over foot on their brood. Summers meant breakfast, cartoons, snack, play, lunch, play, snack, ride bikes, dinner and TV. Through it all mom was there to cater to all our desires.  But this is not about working or career moms or the virtues of stay at home moms. It’s just about moms and why they do what they do.  It is about why we went to mom when we scraped our knee instead of dad. Why restaurants are packed on mother’s day yet on father’s day we opt for hotdogs.

My daughter Esther is extremely creative. She writes (read her blog here - http://esthermcarrera.blogspot.com/), she sews, she crafts, she’s an amateur photographer and in six months she will be an honest to goodness professional pastry chef.  Yet with all the things she does, nothing tugs at her heart more than children. One day she hopes to be a mom. (And that husband, better be right, cause there is no better catch).  As I write this blog she is looking to be an Au Pair for the summer - hopefully somewhere in Europe, all this to satisfy her desire to nurture and travel.  Why?

Growing up, I knew of not a single guy, who said to me,” I just want to be a dad.” Yet girls dream of it from a very young age. They hold dolls as boys blow things up. They push strollers as boys push each other. As we grow, our mothers continue to “mother” us. Hungry? Visit mom. Need encouragement? Visit mom. Want advice? Visit mom. Want someone to tell you, I told you so? Visit DAD!  I try to call my mom a couple of times a week. Sometimes my dad answers the phone; he says a few words and then says, “Here’s your mother.”  You see everyone knows that mom will always have some time for her kids, she will ask the right questions, will always encourage, and fight like a bear for you.

So it’s really quite simple, moms love is demonstrated by action which most of us witness day in and day out. They told us, that they loved us, but most importantly they showed us that they did.  Now not to discount dads, but for the most part, dads show their love by providing for us. Unfortunately, that provision often times channels itself through mom. So unless dad makes a conscious effort with his children, it’s easy for him to stay in the background, hence the hotdogs. (More on this in my upcoming father’s day blog).

Remember mom this weekend, someday she won’t be around and all you’ll have is your memories of her.

Be blessed

Time Gnaws at Your Youth

One of the reasons I love old pictures, is because they take you back to another time. The picture I posted with this blog, I love. It was taken on March 16, 1969. I vividly remember taking it. My brother and I were both wearing suits; we had just come from church and stopped at my dad’s cousin.  A camera came out and, with the thought in my head, “I’ll remember this” I stuck my tongue out at my brother and thought “right now” as the camera went “click.” 

When I was a child, I often uttered the words, “right now.” I did so with sense of urgency as if to make time stop. What I was really trying to do was pick a point in time for later reference  a sort of “time machine” where I could later go back (hey, I said I was a child).  I remember another particular time when I was 9, as I lay on my bed watching TV I was literally gnawing on the wood of the frame of my bed (much to my mother’s later displeasure).  As I looked at the gnarled wood, I uttered “right now!”  Just so I could say “I remember gnawing on my bed, when I was young” You know what? It worked.  As I got older, I remember thinking, “boy that was 3 years ago,” later it became, “boy that was 10 years ago.” I still say that today, but now it’s, “boy that was 42 years ago.

Time just ticks on by, unabated with seemingly no sense of urgency but with no want for leisure either.  It’s always on a mission, yet doesn’t seem to do anything once it gets there other than to continue on with its duty as though by contract. I on the other hand am always governed by it, doing things it commands much like a dictator barking orders. Get up, get ready for work, leave now, drive faster, come here, go there. . . The point is, time just goes by and nothing I do seems to slow it down one bit. And to make matters worse, too many times I find myself looking forward to something in the future and wishing it would hurry up and get here and then as though to mock me, it purposely slows down like ketchup in a new bottle.

I never did figure out how to stop or actually slow down time. I’d be a very rich man if only I could. Yet why even try? As I thought about it, it’s not about time but about youth.  It’s about being vibrant, being able to do things, having a sharp mind, looking good, not being tired. Ponce de Leon searched in vain for the “Fountain of Youth.” Since he is not around, one can presume he did not find it.  Man has always cherished youth. Billions are spent every year in a fruitless endeavor to capture it. We rub everything and anything on our skin, from tree saps and mud to insect excrement in our futile efforts to bring back that youthful look. Doctors will cut here and there, stretch and pull in an attempt to make you what you no longer are - young. Many of us take all types of vitamins and herb, medicines and potions, in a vain effort to give our tired organs a kick start into new life after years of ill-treatment.  It’s vanity.

Growing up, long before I was a Christian, one of my favorite songs, was “Turn, Turn, Turn” by The Byrds. “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven”. Ecc 3:1 Many people do not realize that this “song” is actually over 3000 years old. It was written by King Solomon, who God blessed with extreme wisdom and wealth.  The book of Ecclesiastics is a book about want and excess, it describes the pursuit of anything and everything. It was Solomon’s attempt to bring fulfillment in his life. Read it for yourself, as he withheld nothing neither from his eyes, heart nor his flesh. At the end he concludes it is all vanity and striving after wind.

The 12th chapter starts with: Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you say, “I have no delight in them” Ecc 12:1 NASB

The evil days he is referring to, are your aged days. It is important that we live a good life pleasing to God while we are young and strong. For the days are coming when we are old and afflicted and the only good things we will have left are the memories of what we once had and the joy of what we did with the time God set apart for us. Many people live their life in wanton pleasure with the thought of seeking God when they are old, now is the time for “fun.”  Oh what mockery and misguidedness, for the “bite” will surely come. Just ask any old invalid or near invalid person. They will either be joyful from a life well lived or bitter from what should have been.

As Dietrich Bonheoffer said:

"If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction."

Live your life, so your regrets will be few, do it “RIGHT NOW”

Below is the 12^th Chapter of Ecclesiastics (NIV), I think you will find it interesting.

¹ So remember your Creator^[a] while you are still young, before those dismal days and years come when you will say,
         I don't enjoy life.

² That is when the light of the sun, the moon, and the stars will grow dim for you, and the rain clouds will never pass away.

³ Then your arms, that have protected you, will tremble, and your legs, now strong, will grow weak. Your teeth will be too few to chew your food, and your eyes too dim to see clearly.

⁴ Your ears will be deaf to the noise of the street. You will barely be able to hear the mill as it grinds or music as it plays, but even the song of a bird will wake you from sleep.

⁵ You will be afraid of high places, and walking will be dangerous. Your hair will turn white; you will hardly be able to drag yourself along, and all desire will be gone. We are going to our final resting place, and then there will be mourning in the streets.

⁶ The silver chain will snap, and the golden lamp will fall and break; the rope at the well will break, and the water jar will be shattered.⁷ Our bodies will return to the dust of the earth, and the breath of life will go back to God, who gave it to us.

 ⁸ Useless, useless, said the Philosopher. It is all useless.

⁹ But because the Philosopher was wise, he kept on teaching the people what he knew. He studied proverbs and honestly tested their truth.

¹⁰ The Philosopher tried to find comforting words, but the words he wrote were honest.

¹¹ The sayings of the wise are like the sharp sticks that shepherds use to guide sheep, and collected proverbs are as lasting as firmly driven nails. They have been given by God, the one Shepherd of us all.

¹² My child, there is something else to watch out for. There is no end to the writing of books, and too much study will wear you out.

¹³ After all this, there is only one thing to say: Have reverence for God, and obey his commands, because this is all that we were created for.

¹⁴God is going to judge everything we do, whether good or bad, even things done in secret.