A Curse to Be Me?

Ah, the “Carrera Curse.” Does it exist? Are my children destined to live with it hanging over their heads? What are the symptoms? Is there any known treatment? What causes it? This has plagued my mind for quite a while.

What is it, you wonder? Well according the family dictionary, it reads in part:

1 : a stubborn person, 2 : the need to be right, 3 : the belief that one knows a better way to do something,  4 : the presumed ability to do almost anything oneself, 5 : etc . . .

The truth is the “Carrera Curse” has never really existed; there is no such blight on its members.  Well sort of. You see it is really the “Martell Curse.”  Martell is my mother’s maiden name.  I love my mom, and she has taught my siblings and me many things: to always work hard, to constantly keep busy, and to not be afraid of doing things oneself. And although her age has caused her to slow down in recent years, some days you can still walk into her house and find the 73 year old on a ladder cleaning a high ceiling or moving furniture for the umpteen time.  My dad, who himself, always worked hard, just shakes his head and follows her wishes as he knows he cannot out argue her (he is very wise).

My dad and I laugh, because my mom still insists, almost to the point where she gets a bit upset, that I take my coffee with sweetener.  It’s not right, it doesn’t taste right, it needs sugar, she says.  Or if I’m chopping an onion – at my house – she often wants to take the knife right out of my hand and chop it for me. Oh I love her and one day I will miss that so much. But for now I joke about it with her and she laughs because, like us, she really doesn’t notice it and is just trying to be helpful.

This “trait” of my mother’s has been passed down to me and all four of my sibling. Don’t get me wrong, it can be great, for example: 9 years ago, I decided it would be good to add on to my house. I wanted to add about 900 sq. feet and a new oversize garage. Hey why hire someone, do it yourself. Well when you have 4 siblings who kind of egg you on, with “oh yeah, it’ll be easy” or “piece of cake” you just do it. I now have 900 extra feet and a great garage. Or a couple of weeks ago, when I need to replace a clutch on an old car, which requires removing the transmission, well I can now drive that car.  I will not tell you about me staring at a half built garage and thinking “what in the world was I thinking?” Or trying to install that clutch and crying like a baby out of frustration.

Believe me as much as it may impress some, it is a curse to a point. I do learn, I will never repipe my own house – again. Nor will I ever install my own central heating and air conditioning – again. I will never build my own kitchen cabinets – again. You see, I actually have learned what I can and cannot do. And there is a lot I cannot do. More than I ever thought.

I am VERY stubborn, there I said it! Happy now? You see I know everyone knows this except my siblings and me. I actually do know it now. I first realized just how stubborn I (we) were about 20 years ago. All 5 of us siblings where playing Pictionary with our spouses. The 10 of us are sitting around a table. There was an argument and as I stepped back (to breath I think); I noticed that all 5 of our spouses were leaning back away from the table and all 5 of us siblings were leaning into the table arguing whether or not that picture was an accurate representation of a cat or something. WOW, I thought – we all have “the curse!”

I am happy to report that I am in recovery and with Barbara’s help, I am slowly making progress. Neither my son David nor daughter Coryn “suffer” from this, but unfortunately, sometimes I see my beautiful daughter Esther with just a tinge of it.  LOL!